Sunday, January 13, 2008

REPORT FROM INDIA -- text message

At 12:47 AM Sunday, Adam sent me a text message from Ryan's phone saying they had hit the road. I'm thrilled that they've begun the return journey -- please join me in praying that God will continue to create a safe path for their entire group and bring them home in the next few days.

While Adam's been gone, God has reminded me of an important lesson. The first time He made me realize this was about six months before we were married. Now that we've spent the last three and a half years together, He knew I needed to be reminded of one of His truths.

Let me begin by saying I dreaded Adam's departure. I knew that this was an amazing opportunity and that we needed to make whatever sacrifices necessary to provide for him to go to India, but my selfish heart desperately wanted him home with me. I had already played through all the horrible possibilities -- even thinking about having to raise our child alone. God has never lifted His protection from us, and yet I allowed myself to consider all the what-ifs, completely disregarding the power of the Holy Spirit.

Well, instead of teaching me a lesson, worthy of my behavior and lack of faith, that included two weeks of misery, self-pity, and tears, God decided to extend His grace once again in my life. I have spent the past 12 days with friends, at work, and at class. I haven't been sick, I haven't cried (since I left the airport), and I haven't once had bitter feelings towards the class that Adam's been experiencing. I've felt safe in my home by myself, and have worshiped with my church family without my spouse.

It's been a wonderful opportunity for me to remember that Adam doesn't provide my safety. Although he may act as God's instrument in doing so, the safety does not come from him. Adam does not allow me to find joy in my life. I'm blessed to share joy with him, but that joy comes from the Holy One who created both of us. Adam is not the reason I am on this earth, and his approval is not what drives me every day.

I'm sure to any of you readers, this is not a new concept. However, from the perspective of a 26 year old, it remains an overwhelming comfort and mystery. Before he left, Adam and I were discussing how difficult it is to accept a compliment, because we realize the only reason we accomplish anything is because God allows us to and gives us the means to do so. In light of that discussion, I wanted to take this opportunity to give glory to God's grace and mercy and the effect it has had in my life recently.

Thank you, Holy One, for continuing to journey with me. Thank you for showing me Your mercy. Thank you for protecting my sweet husband. Please continue to protect him as he travels home this week. Please continue to look past my countless downfalls and fuel the servant that lingers somewhere within.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. AMEN.

THank you Dru. What a great reminder! I too struggle with remembering who to appropriately attribute all the joy in my life! I'm so glad to hear that your time was well filled while Adam was gone, I'm sure that made things go much quicker on your end! We'll be praying for his travels as he returns!! Love you!
Thanks for sharing your heart, Brenda
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